Kristin Eckhardt O'Ferrall

Getting Back to Creative

This blank page is awfully, um, what am I looking for?  It’s awfully, um, BLANK.
It’s just staring at me — how rude! — with no ​expression, no feeling.
​It’s as if we are having a stand-off and, well, apparently I am losing.

I used to write all the time as a kid.  It wasn’t as if I really had to try.  I never forced
myself.  No one told me to write.  I wrote because the words were already in my head
and I had to write them down to clear it.  Poems especially, they would just come to me.
A journal and pen were always beside my bed because during the night, poems or random
thoughts would appear and I would have to turn on the light and jot the words down

Throughout my adolescence and into college, writing was my form of relaxation.  I was allowed to reveal my thoughts without judgment. I was allowed to call someone an ​asshole without negative repercussions.  I could express my insecurities without
being found out. These were my private moments.  My private thoughts.  For me and my eyes only.

So, how is it now that I am writing a not-so-private blog?  Well, for starters I am using this blog as a challenge to myself.  You see, I am out of practice.  Using the excuse “life got in the way,” I simply stopped writing.  Writing soon felt like a frivolous waste of time and in all honesty, it just didn’t seem very fun anymore.  From time to time, I would try to write.  But nothing would come. Every word seemed forced.  Even fake.  I always prided myself on being a creative person, but over the last 15 years, it felt as if my creativity muscles were dried up.

And then it dawned on me. Creativity is a muscle. Sure, it is inspired by passion but to obtain it, we must be open. We must stop, listen to our hearts, head, emotions, and feelings. We must breath.  And, did I say STOP?  Yes, we must stop and listen to the words.  Trust them and not quickly disregard them as nonsense.

Right now, I know that I want creativity back in my life.  I know that I want to pursue this new-found desire. I have decided to start relaxing (giving myself permission to relax and write). This time however, I feel compelled to help myself AND help others get BACK TO CREATIVE.  I am just going to be open, stay diligent, and see where this takes me.

I know that I must work out those creative muscles, and in order to do so, I must write daily. I must stay at it.  So this is my story (my journey) of how I am getting back to creative. Maybe this blog will serve a higher purpose. Maybe this blog is just simply medicine for myself.  I do know that ideas are coming back at me.   I am writing.   Hear me roar.
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